Help! How Should Teachers Handle Extreme Student Entitlement? 

Dear We Are Teachers,

I accepted a job at an elementary school known for extremely entitled students (and parents). Some stories I’ve heard: They stopped doing a science fair because parents were hiring judges to “volunteer” and give their child a top score, teachers are regularly pressured by admin to change students’ grades, and the PTA has the power to basically fire any teacher they want. I’m intimidated, but I still want the job. What safeguards would you recommend to protect myself from student entitlement? 

—Stepping Into the Fire 

Dear S.I.T.F.,

Whew! That’s a pressure cooker if I’ve ever heard one. Hopefully you have a supportive administrator. A strong, honest, fair principal can make everyone’s experience better: students, teachers, and parents.

Here’s my best advice for this situation:

1. Follow the protocol from your school when communicating with parents.

The best people to advise you on the protocol with parents are people at your school. Talk to your principal and team about how they communicate with families. Should you forward any heated emails to the principal? Should you give parents your cell phone number if they ask? What about interacting on social media? Obviously, don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. But it is good to know what the “norm” is on your new campus.

2. Boundaries!

With students and parents: Don’t feel pressured to agree to anything you’re not 100% sure about. Be comfortable saying things like:

“That’s a great idea! Let me think about it and I’ll let you know first thing tomorrow.”

“Let me run that by my principal/department head just to be sure before I commit.”

“I like that idea. Can I get back to you tomorrow with my thoughts on it?”

Similarly, be conscious of inadvertently creating patterns that a parent might come to expect. Don’t try to respond to all emails ASAP, and keep communication polite but short.

3. Assume best intent.

It’s easy with entitled parents to put them on the other side of the playing field and adopt a “me vs. them” mentality. But remember: They want what’s best for their kids too. And if they’re behaving badly, it’s probably because they’re afraid that something (or someone) is threatening their child’s success. Even if that thing is as bonkers as their child coming in third place instead of first in the science fair.

“Why would a reasonable person be acting this way?” is a good question to ask yourself when you feel like a parent has become the enemy. Often the answer is something like:

“They’re scared that this one little failure means a snowball situation for the rest of their life.”

“Their negative childhood experiences have created a skewed view of success.”

“They are feeling insecure and worried.”

Note: I do not say this to excuse any form of bullying or abuse from parents. That should never be tolerated. But this question can help you move from a place of exasperation and eye-rolling to empathy—a much better starting foundation for a solid relationship.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I student-taught this past semester and got very comfortable teaching a class of 20 3rd graders. Well, I just got my class roster and discovered I will have 33 students starting Monday! What kinds of things can I do to prepare for having way more students than I’m used to?

—A Full House

Dear A.F.H.,

Much of how to prepare for having a larger class has to do with things you’re likely already doing—you’ll just have to do more of it.

Optimize the foot traffic in your classroom.

With more seating in your classroom than you’re used to, make sure you and your students will be able to move around with ease. While you’re setting up your classroom, test out common foot-traffic patterns. Is it easy for students to get to the pencil sharpener? Is it easy for you to move from your desk to the board? Can you get to each desk easily?

Don’t take everything for a grade.

I wish I’d known this far earlier in my career, but not everything needs to be graded. Assessments and major projects do, obviously. But with such a big class, you will be falling over yourself to grade every piece of student practice. So … don’t do it. Or have students “grade” it themselves, but don’t put it in the grade book.

Structure your days for plenty of discussions and collaboration.

With a larger class, you’ll want to make sure students have an opportunity to contribute and be heard. So consider adding in Socratic seminars, fishbowl discussions, debates, and even silent discussions. The more kids feel like they have a voice, the more engaged they’ll be.

Dear We Are Teachers,

My family and I moved this summer from south Florida to Michigan. I got hired at a middle school I’m super excited about and the community seems fantastic. However, when I went to set up my room, I had a jump scare: there’s no air-conditioning in the building! Yes, I’m from Florida, but I’ve never been in a building with no A/C for an extended period of time. I thought I was going to pass out—it was almost 90 degrees, and that’s without kids in the room! Give me all the secrets to keep my classroom cool!

—Positively Glistening

Dear P.G.,

It’s hard for my Houston-based sensibilities to grasp, but as of 2021, over 42% of American schools didn’t have air-conditioning. But just because you’re not alone doesn’t mean that it’s not going to be stifling for the next few weeks!

My top recommendations from teachers I know in Vermont and California:

Create a cross-breeze if possible.

I shan’t veer into thermodynamics here, but I know it’s better for fresh air to be able to travel through a room. So keep the door and as many windows open as possible. And if there’s no breeze outside, make your own with fans! You can even put a bowl of ice water in front of a fan for a temporarily cooler breeze.

Unplug anything that creates extra heat.

Keep as many electronics as possible unplugged when you’re not using them. Then, before you leave for the day, plug them back in to charge overnight.

Cool your pressure points.

Keeping pressure points on your neck and wrists cool will help you feel more cool overall. Try this cooling necklace or splurge on some Hot Girl Pearls! You can also keep some scented wipes or a spray bottle full of water in a nearby fridge for a quick cooldown.

Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I really wanted the last first grade position I interviewed for. After the interview, I asked for feedback on how I could improve. The interviewer said, “The panel and I agreed that you didn’t seem confident in what you were saying or in your abilities. It was hard for us to envision you projecting confidence in the classroom.” I feel like I’m being judged for being nervous during an interview, which 1) I can’t control and 2) seems very normal. Is this fair?

—Nervous Nora