17 Things Parents Say That Make Teachers Laugh Out Loud

Teachers get a lot of interesting emails and phone calls. We all understand that parents have the best interest of their child at heart, but sometimes the things parents say are totally … well, ridiculous. And it’s really, really hard to compose a professional response, especially when we can’t stop laughing.

See if you recognize any of the following comments.

1. “Can you call us every night and tell us what the homework is?”

I was hoping you would ask me to do that!

2. “Can you write the homework in his agenda every day?”

Only if you come to my house and do the dishes every evening.

3. “Can you tell me why [insert question child is completely capable of asking the teacher themself]?”

I’m sorry, why isn’t your 10th grader asking me when they can make up their test?

4. “You need to put sunscreen on my child before recess.”

Yes, really.

5. “When is my child going to get an award?”

We try to spread the wealth when it comes to recognition, but this kind of expectation smacks of entitlement.

6. “He didn’t have time to study. He had basketball practice.”

Maybe we should reexamine those priorities?

7. “She takes after me. I’ve always been bad at [subject].”

Can we stop telling teachers how much we hate the subject they currently teach?

8. “She’s never gotten a grade this low before.”

Oh, well, in that case, let me bump it up to an A!

9. “If you give him a B, he’s not going to get into his first-choice college.”

Maybe if he can’t meet the admission requirements for his first-choice college, he shouldn’t be admitted? Isn’t that how it works? (P.S. He earned a B.)

10. “Why can’t the makeup test be the same as the original test?”

Why do you think, Bill?

11. “She’s gifted.”

Do gifted kids come with their own quirks, strengths, exceptionalities, and challenges? Yes. Does this mean they shouldn’t be held accountable for their academic, social, and personal choices? No. Using your child’s giftedness as a bullying tactic to get your way ain’t it.

12. “He said he’s not the only one who’s misbehaving, but he’s the only one who gets in trouble.”

Teachers don’t share disciplinary actions with students. Just because a kid may not see or hear another kid get in trouble, it doesn’t mean that they didn’t. Also, let’s be honest: Sometimes, kids may not have a complete—or truthful—recollection of the entire situation.

13. “We’re actually going on vacation the week before spring break. Will he miss anything?”

No, we’ll just sit and wait for his return. We definitely won’t be trying to finish up a unit, complete with review and test, before break or anything like that.    

14. “And if he will miss anything, can you get it all together before we leave, so he can do it in the car?”

A good teacher keeps their lessons flexible and is able to respond to the needs of their students. I may have a general idea of what my week will look like, but it could easily change. And let’s not pretend that everything I do can be re-created in the form of a worksheet. Every time I have supplied a student with a packet of work, the student has returned with a blank packet.

15. “She said the test had things on it that you didn’t teach.”

Oh yes. This sounds like exactly the kind of thing I would do.

16. “I think you should …”

Umm … how about I don’t tell you how to parent, and you don’t tell me how to teach?

17. “He never does/says that at home.”

Isn’t it funny how kids can do or say things outside of their home?

Of course, for most teachers, the kind and understanding parents far outnumber the ones that make us roll our eyes (or roll on the floor laughing). But the next time you get a comment from a parent that makes your eye twitch, remember: You’re definitely not the only one!

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